Warning: Spiritual Journey In Progress

Gojira called to  my attention that people may find it offensive or give me slack for the number of spiritual posts regarding the novenas I’ve put up recently. I just wanted to say that I am going through a spiritual journey right now. I am in the process of finding my spiritual soul and converting from Hindu to Catholic. You may like, dislike or not really care but I just wanted to make it clear that it’s not my intention to convert or save anyone but I’m merely sharing what I’m going through at the moment and maybe even figure out where I’m heading. Many of the novenas I recite require me to share them so I thought my blog was the best place for that.  i strongly believe that saving is something only you can do to yourself in whatever belief you see fit. whether it’s christianity, islam, buddhism, hinduism that’s up to you and God to decide. It is my hope that I can be a true believer of the Catholic faith because I think that’s what’s best for me and my plan ahead. Gojira is a Catholic and has in no way forced me to be anything I am not. After having lengthy discussions on this subject I decided I would become a Catholic. it is obvious that changing a religion is not something one can do overnight. It takes time a lot of thought and understanding to believe and follow. I am going through this process as we speak and I hope everyone will respect that. This light is turned off…

My Latest Epiphany I’m Trying To Grasp…

You adjust to things that come into your life, good or bad…. and when they leave, you learn to continue living your life as if you never had it… Don’t go away empty handed. Learn from your experiences and your mistakes. Never depend on anyone else for anything whether it be happiness, love, money, confidence, success… gain these fruits for yourself, from within you. Do not expect anyone else to get these things for you. Believe in yourself. trust in yourself. be yourself.. because that’s the only one person you will be able to depend on always. Be comfortable being alone… create a barricade around your soul so that nothing can tear you apart and leave you weak. If that means being a bitch then so be it. At the end of the day YOU have to harbor those emotions of hurt, pain, and frustration when you become weak and soft enough to allow someone to make you feel that way. Harden your heart… Everyone looks nice from the outside but they all have agendas in their head. Don’t fall for them. Work is not a place to make friends. Do your job and leave. The more personal attachments you have, the more complicated life gets. Love yourself first. If you decide to trust someone enough to let them into your life, they come after you. If you allow them in, don’t be surprised if they pick up and leave tomorrow. In fact expect it. So it won’t be so hard to deal with when they finally do. Music is the only weakness you can allow yourself to experience recklessly. The only thing you can be vulnerable to without getting hurt. Experience it and embrace it whole heartedly.

Note: I cannot take credit for this epiphany. I had a conversation with someone (he/she knows who he is) and through a series of questions arguments and realizations I have come to find the above written. I thank the person who has helped me discover this. I am stronger and more enlightened because of this. This light is turned off..

 

Currently listening to Right Before Your Eyes  by Hoobastank
Daredevil: OST

Music… something I found while browsing online…

Music,
Like love and lust, has roots in the soul.
You drive me mad with your A notes,
Making me wild like a staff with no lines.
Kisses placed randomly on paper as notes turn into high screams and low moans.

Love,
Like anger flows through my veins and burns me,
So does the fire produced by every key you hit.
Taking me higher into a world where there is no dissonance,
And every sound, from every voice, melts into one word:

Lust,
Dances to the sound produced as sweat drips tenderly off your skin.
Hands roaming gently; our hearts the bass, beat, and background.
Hit that note for me, touch me where everything makes sense and I become the star in your opera show. Make me the soprano you know I am while my Soul,
Is Infatuated and drowning in your…

Music.

Currently listening to
Through the Eyes
By Flaw

Lucid Castles & Jaded Dreams – August 15th 2002

A jaded dream looks out the dust streaked windows,
With flaccid eyes, wilting with despair.
Fingerprints left on the grimy sun bleached walls,
like crumpled and forgotten black and white photographs.
Time that’s neither lost nor gained.
Cobwebs take over the ceilings where emblazoned chandeliers once hung,
Which now lie shattered on the rotting tiles.
Useless and untouched,
Like abandoned harlot’s children.
Ravaged dreams that are never accomplished.
The open window in the attic,
takes out the depressing stench of a jaded ancient dream,
And carries in another sad song…
The tall grass grows like a wild untamed child from the cracks in the floor.
And the leaking tap in the mildewed bathroom drips out a sickening steady rhythm.
Like a war drum beating out a death sentence…
Wallowing on the empty feeling of defeat,
Like fallen warriors dying slow agonizing deaths.
Their thick blood like melting dark chocolate,
Bittersweet and escaping their mangled bodies,
Depriving them of their very existence.
All dreams are cursed with an endless sea of hope,
But no accurate fulfillment.
This lucid castle full of sorrow and regret,
is not only mine… But every soul’s.
For this is where all dreams come to die…

Currently listening to Baby Dream In Cellophane
Stupid Dream
By Porcupine Tree