Today is only Tuesday and I’m feeling so much better from the weekend. Yeah the weekend for the most part was horrifying for me because dad and I butted heads again. So besides carving my Halloween pumpkin it was not a pretty experience.. But things are better and I truly do believe that by praying they have gotten better. I try not to let a day end without reciting at least 4 Our Father’s, 4 Hail Mary’s and 4 Glory Be’s, along with the Storm Novena the Novena To Our Lady Of Perpetual Help and The Memorare. It sounds like a lot but it takes just about 15 minutes of my day. I feel like our house has had a storm cloud over it with the kind of negativity and fighting and stuff that’s been happening. I admit I made it worse by losing my temper last Monday and my family and I are still recovering from that fight. But today it finally dissipated. As I was getting ready for work and came downstairs to make my lunch my dad just out of the blue in the calmest of tones apologized to me and told me that he was wrong. I honestly don’t want to get into the details of our issues but it felt good that miraculously the problem was gone. Today also my hands were itching to find out more information about the K1 visa process since waiting has made me so impatient and while I was googling I came across a statistic that said they have a 95% approval rate. You have no idea how comforting that is during this time of struggle. It’s like I’m getting these little gifts out of thin air.
Ever since that fight with my family I have learned to be more humble.I realize I’ve been complaining a lot, maybe unconsciously venting because of my frustration of waiting for Gojira to come here but I still have a lot to be grateful about. I’m taking an active approach to thinking about the positive and thinking about what I have in my life to be happy about instead of focusing on the negative. Over the last couple of months I’ve tried my best to incorporate a few of the activities and hobbies I enjoy in my spare time to keep me busy and happy. But like I read in someone’s blog recently, being on the computer eats up more time than you realize and you end up finishing very little of what you planned in your day. I’ve now created a time table for myself so that I can have enough time to paint/draw, read, and do some soul searching. Many years ago, (about 4 to 5 to be exact) I came across a random website which had topics and challenges on a daily basis and people uploaded their artwork based upon it. It had so many interesting ideas and it was very inspiring. But I lost the link and could never manage to find it again :( Today I went browsing again and I either found the website or I’ve found something really damn close and it made me so happy (see what I mean about the power of prayer? a lost website suddenly found… that’s like picking out a needle from a haystack! :D) Here is the link to it. If you click on the tab “Challenges” and select “2D Drawing Jams” you will see some pretty cool stuff. Like for example one of the topics was T-Rex vs. Cute fluffy animal and people submitted their drawings and voted for the best.
I was really impressed with the winner of that one. it’s so creative. This is what I eventually work up to. To practice coming up with cool concepts and drawing things I’m not used to. Maybe I might not win but the best part of this is that people of all levels of drawing skill comment and submit and its a really healthy positive environment to be a part of. My first step is going to be to start drawing and sketching. Maybe I’ll post some up as I get regular with it. As a part of my soul searching effort I’ve borrowed this book from the library called “101 Exercises For The Soul” by Dr. Bernie Siegel but I never take the time out to read it and do some of those exercises.
I’ve decided by scheduling it into my time table I will be able to do that and more. Let’s see how it goes. I was really looking forward to drawing out a birthday card for my Gojira but it turns out there’s more of a chance that it won’t reach him so I’m not allowed to send him anything :( that really sucks. Maybe I’ll draw it and scan it so he can view it on his birthday. I’m kind of happy that my family vacation to Tahiti is not coinciding with his birthday because then I’ll be able to chat with him and call him up on his birthday :) I know he hates celebrating it but that’s the least I can do. I will say one thing. This is the last miserable birthday he has. When he’s here with me next year we’re going to have such a blast he won’t be able to contain his happiness.. Just wait and see :) anyways here are my pumpkin carving pictures.. enjoy :) this light is turned off..