Tag Archives: numb

2006…Murderous Heartache

The sweet nauseating smell of pain resonates through me,
clutching at my chest,
throbbing like a tremor that rudely awakens an innocent sleepy town
Into turmoil and deafening chaos,
not realizing that the worst is yet to befall them…

I plaster mask after mask,
hiding from truth and reality
they scorn me like heavily made up geishas
boasting and prancing in front of me
laughing at my stupidity…

Why was I blind then? And Why can’t I be blind now?
Craving to shelter my eyes and be dumb
To numb the pain
And mute the screaming from within the four walls of my mind…

Aurora crucified on a cross and set to burn,
Without a second glance,
Her prince looks the other way.
The deception of men curdles my heart
No longer choosing to seek refuge in them…

Like a mad hatter I am alone and lost and dazed,
in Alice’s wonderland.
Or should I say My Wonderland?
Struggling and stumbling towards the winding path
That leads to my supposed destiny
But finding myself walking in circles
Back from where I started
Bumping clumsily into the lunacy and senile ways of this world…

I flinch as regret steps on my toes,
Reduced to fill the empty hole in my heart,
With everything and anything I can grasp onto,
The shackles of despair threaten to drag me under,
Desperately finding a way to keep my head above water
To prevent myself from drowning in endless misery…

Currently listening to Dirge for November
Blackwater Park
By Opeth