Today is only Tuesday and I’m feeling so much better from the weekend. Yeah the weekend for the most part was horrifying for me because dad and I butted heads again. So besides carving my Halloween pumpkin it was not a pretty experience.. But things are better and I truly do believe that by praying they have gotten better. I try not to let a day end without reciting at least 4 Our Father’s, 4 Hail Mary’s and 4 Glory Be’s, along with the Storm Novena the Novena To Our Lady Of Perpetual Help and The Memorare. It sounds like a lot but it takes just about 15 minutes of my day. I feel like our house has had a storm cloud over it with the kind of negativity and fighting and stuff that’s been happening. I admit I made it worse by losing my temper last Monday and my family and I are still recovering from that fight. But today it finally dissipated. As I was getting ready for work and came downstairs to make my lunch my dad just out of the blue in the calmest of tones apologized to me and told me that he was wrong. I honestly don’t want to get into the details of our issues but it felt good that miraculously the problem was gone. Today also my hands were itching to find out more information about the K1 visa process since waiting has made me so impatient and while I was googling I came across a statistic that said they have a 95% approval rate. You have no idea how comforting that is during this time of struggle. It’s like I’m getting these little gifts out of thin air.
Ever since that fight with my family I have learned to be more humble.I realize I’ve been complaining a lot, maybe unconsciously venting because of my frustration of waiting for Gojira to come here but I still have a lot to be grateful about. I’m taking an active approach to thinking about the positive and thinking about what I have in my life to be happy about instead of focusing on the negative. Over the last couple of months I’ve tried my best to incorporate a few of the activities and hobbies I enjoy in my spare time to keep me busy and happy. But like I read in someone’s blog recently, being on the computer eats up more time than you realize and you end up finishing very little of what you planned in your day. I’ve now created a time table for myself so that I can have enough time to paint/draw, read, and do some soul searching. Many years ago, (about 4 to 5 to be exact) I came across a random website which had topics and challenges on a daily basis and people uploaded their artwork based upon it. It had so many interesting ideas and it was very inspiring. But I lost the link and could never manage to find it again :( Today I went browsing again and I either found the website or I’ve found something really damn close and it made me so happy (see what I mean about the power of prayer? a lost website suddenly found… that’s like picking out a needle from a haystack! :D) Here is the link to it. If you click on the tab “Challenges” and select “2D Drawing Jams” you will see some pretty cool stuff. Like for example one of the topics was T-Rex vs. Cute fluffy animal and people submitted their drawings and voted for the best.
source: http://cghub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3952
I was really impressed with the winner of that one. it’s so creative. This is what I eventually work up to. To practice coming up with cool concepts and drawing things I’m not used to. Maybe I might not win but the best part of this is that people of all levels of drawing skill comment and submit and its a really healthy positive environment to be a part of. My first step is going to be to start drawing and sketching. Maybe I’ll post some up as I get regular with it. As a part of my soul searching effort I’ve borrowed this book from the library called “101 Exercises For The Soul” by Dr. Bernie Siegel but I never take the time out to read it and do some of those exercises.
I’ve decided by scheduling it into my time table I will be able to do that and more. Let’s see how it goes. I was really looking forward to drawing out a birthday card for my Gojira but it turns out there’s more of a chance that it won’t reach him so I’m not allowed to send him anything :( that really sucks. Maybe I’ll draw it and scan it so he can view it on his birthday. I’m kind of happy that my family vacation to Tahiti is not coinciding with his birthday because then I’ll be able to chat with him and call him up on his birthday :) I know he hates celebrating it but that’s the least I can do. I will say one thing. This is the last miserable birthday he has. When he’s here with me next year we’re going to have such a blast he won’t be able to contain his happiness.. Just wait and see :) anyways here are my pumpkin carving pictures.. enjoy :) this light is turned off..
I am a little skeptical when it comes to believing in a person (flesh and blood) as opposed to God or a spiritual form. 
Yes, I’ve heard of messengers of God but I don’t think a human should be worshipping another human whether living or dead. I am not a follower of Sai Baba but visiting this place was an experience to remember and I took away something valuable from this holy experience. People say that whatever you ask of him comes true. I asked for peace and for terrorism to stop. I also asked for all my family and friends to be happy and healthy and safe. It was four to five hours away from P and it is crowded year round. We took a tavera car and went with my friend’s family since they were keen on visiting Shirdi. I was going for the first time so I had no idea what to expect. My friend’s family didnt know that their daughter smoked so we kept on hiding and smoking whenever we got a chance to get out of the car.
I’ve been meaning to quit for quite a while, and I don’t smoke much maybe one or two a day and I am going to quit completely very very soon. but it was funny trying to hide it from her parents, finding the silliest of excuses to get away from the group and to smoke somewhere in peace.When we finally reached Shirdi we kept our shoes in the car and bought the pooja stuff like the garland, prasad, holy cloth, coconut and much more. I found it annoying that I had to watch where I stepped on the road since all the drivers passing by spit on the road.
I think drivers are dumb to be spitting right in front of the Sai Baba mandir. argh… anywho little did I know what a painful wait this would be to get in.
I waited for 2 and a half hours to get inside the mandir!!!!! We went through 3 floors of zig zag waiting lines full of snotty nosed crying kids, pushing bossy old ladies, smelly sweaty old men, leching teenagers and all this when it was a zillion degrees outside!! 
By the time we got inside, I was dehydrated, literally in tears from the mosh pit crowds pushing me around and suffocating me. When we were finally in I said a quick prayer for peace and happiness to all that I know and those that need help and then we gave the garlands to the priest to be put on his tomb and the priest blessed the coconut and prasad with Sai Baba’s grace and gave it back to us. The courtyard we stepped out into after leaving the main Sai Baba temple was refreshingly peaceful and beautiful.
As soon as I stepped out I felt a calm come over me. It was my favorite part of the temple. All low built structures black stone structures with smaller temples of his devoted disciples. I sat and watched the crowds pass by. When we got into the main temple we had gotten seperated from our friends so I watched and waited till I found them again. We then went to the Sai Baba museum where we got to see his photographs and articles that he used while he was alive. I found that interesting. I love gazing at artifacts and going to museums. After finishing the temple, there was an outer temple, in which there is a flame which is said to be lit by Sai Baba and has never gone out. It is still lit to this day. From there my friend’s parents wanted to do some shopping for Sai Baba statues and bracelets and books. We were all SOOOOOO tired by the end of the temple journey that we all were getting so aggravated with them taking their time shopping. So after they finished we managed to track down the driver get in the car and go find a restaurant to eat at. Everyone told me not to put my socks and shoes on, but my feet were so sore I didnt care and put my shoes and socks on anyways. It was pure bliss to feel my nice comfy socks on my feet after walking on bare rough ground all day! Everyone was prepared to eat vegetarian food because in Shirdi you apparently dont get non-veg food since it is not considered holy. But we ended up going to this restaurant on the outskirts of Shirdi to find that they DID serve non veg!! 
So being crazily starved as we were, we pigged out on rotis and chicken handi and yellow dal and rice. It was amazzzzing.
anyways that’s what my weekend was all about. This whole week nothing much going on.
