The Power Of Prayer…

Today is only Tuesday and I’m feeling so much better from the weekend. Yeah the weekend for the most part was horrifying for me because dad and I butted heads again. So besides carving my Halloween pumpkin it was not a pretty experience.. But things are better and I truly do believe that by praying they have gotten better. I try not to let a day end without reciting at least 4 Our Father’s, 4 Hail Mary’s and 4 Glory Be’s, along with the Storm Novena the Novena To Our Lady Of Perpetual Help and The Memorare. It sounds like a lot but it takes just about 15 minutes of my day. I feel like our house has had a storm cloud over it with the kind of negativity and fighting and stuff that’s been happening. I admit I made it worse by losing my temper last Monday and my family and I are still recovering from that fight. But today it finally dissipated. As I was getting ready for work and came downstairs to make my lunch my dad just out of the blue in the calmest of tones apologized to me and told me that he was wrong. I honestly don’t want to get into the details of our issues but it felt good that miraculously the problem was gone. Today also my hands were itching to find out more information about the K1 visa process since waiting has made me so impatient and while I was googling I came across a statistic that said they have a 95% approval rate. You have no idea how comforting that is during this time of struggle. It’s like I’m getting these little gifts out of thin air.

Ever since that fight with my family I have learned to be more humble.I realize I’ve been complaining a lot, maybe unconsciously venting because of my frustration of waiting for Gojira to come here but I still have a lot to be grateful about. I’m taking an active approach to thinking about the positive and thinking about what I have in my life to be happy about instead of focusing on the negative. Over the last couple of months I’ve tried my best to incorporate a few of the activities and hobbies I enjoy in my spare time to keep me busy and happy. But like I read in someone’s blog recently, being on the computer eats up more time than you realize and you end up finishing very little of what you planned in your day. I’ve now created a time table for myself so that I can have enough time to paint/draw, read, and do some soul searching. Many years ago, (about 4 to 5 to be exact) I came across a random website which had topics and challenges on a daily basis and people uploaded their artwork based upon it. It had so many interesting ideas and it was very inspiring. But I lost the link and could never manage to find it again :( Today I went browsing again and I either found the website or I’ve found something really damn close and it made me so happy (see what I mean about the power of prayer? a lost website suddenly found… that’s like picking out a needle from a haystack! :D) Here is the link to it. If you click on the tab “Challenges” and select “2D Drawing Jams” you will see some pretty cool stuff.  Like for example one of the topics was T-Rex vs. Cute fluffy animal and people submitted their drawings and voted for the best.

source: http://cghub.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3952

I was really impressed with the winner of that one. it’s so creative. This is what I eventually work up to. To practice coming up with cool concepts and drawing things I’m not used to. Maybe I might not win but the best part of this is that people of all levels of drawing skill comment and submit and its a really healthy positive environment to be a part of. My first step is going to be to start drawing and sketching. Maybe I’ll post some up as I get regular with it. As a part of my soul searching effort I’ve borrowed this book from the library called “101 Exercises For The Soul” by Dr. Bernie Siegel but I never take the time out to read it and do some of those exercises.

I’ve decided by scheduling it into my time table I will be able to do that and more. Let’s see how it goes. I was really looking forward to drawing out a birthday card for my Gojira but it turns out there’s more of a chance that it won’t reach him so I’m not allowed to send him anything :( that really sucks. Maybe I’ll draw it and scan it so he can view it on his birthday. I’m kind of happy that my family vacation to Tahiti is not coinciding with his birthday because then I’ll be able to chat with him and call him up on his birthday :) I know he hates celebrating it but that’s the least I can do. I will say one thing. This is the last miserable birthday he has. When he’s here with me next year we’re going to have such a blast he won’t be able to contain his happiness.. Just wait and see :) anyways here are my pumpkin carving pictures.. enjoy :) this light is turned off..

SUMMAMABITCH $!@#$%!!?!….. >:|

SUMMAMABITCH $!@#$%!!?! That’s what Bernie Mac used to say when he got annoyed or bugged with something…. Gosh, its just been one of those weeks where you wonder what else can go wrong…. I guess I should be grateful that I have a job, I have a roof over my head, I have a kickass boyfriend (hmmmm are u listening gremlin?) I have my arms and legs intact… buttttttttt…. I want to vent and so I will… sigh… I guess it all started from the weekend my ipod decided to ditch me and go to ipod heaven… I feel lost without it…

my music-less life is soooooo sadddddd and silent and scaryy… of course i listen to music on the computer when I get home from work but its just not the same… also I have a hell of a long ride to work and I actually used to enjoy my ride getting to listen to music uninterrupted for a nice half an hour to 45 mins stretch… but such is life. those apple assturds at Adlabs are telling me that its not fixable and they said I have the option of buying a brand new one… (thats a 10 to 13 grand hole in my pocket right there) or I can choose to give this broken one to them where they send it to Apple and send me a brand new one back for 7 grand… (we’re talking rupees here people!!) if it wasnt for the fact that i bought brand new ipod compatible dock speakers then Id probably consider changing my brand to go for something more long lasting and durable. I swear I took care of this except for a few haphazard slip ups where I’ve dropped it. But doesnt everyone drop their ipod at least once or twice? and if so, isnt apple supposed to make them durable and hardy enough to last more than 2 frickin years???? i mean because i have friends who’ve had their ipods last and last for a good 5-6 yrs thats why i bought it!!! and mine dies in 2 yrs? gimme a frickin break… then theres the issue of buying a silicon cover or a plastic hard cover. then theres the issue that the dock speakers i have u really have to jam the ipod in there to get it to connect… maybe that f*cked it up…. i just donno…. ugh…. anyways so here i am ipodless… now last week i found out my bike really needs servicing. regular checkups are not too bad thats just 300-500. but when somethings wrong with ur bike or needs fixing you know its gonna be a chunk of money leaving your pocket. I expect atleast 2-5 grands to go with this repair because theres a lot of oil leaking from it. and i require my bike to travel everyday…. its my only mode of transportation. (thats the only reason my bike is priority over the fixing of my ipod otherwise i wouldnt need a split second to make a decision that ipod comes first!!) so anywho i finallllllllly got my paycheck yesterday so ive decided to be a good girl and get my bike fixed this month and save allll my money…. then next month ill go get my ipod fixed…. and then in august ill buy my guitar… my guitar has been pushed along since december 2008 so whats another couple of months to wait right?? wrong… i want that so badly cuz ive been itching to learn and keep myself busy…. because ME. I feel like frickin Bella from Twilight. I unintentionally attract trouble. She attracts vampires and werewolves and wars between the paranormal… whereas I attract psychos and losers, biatches, betraying friends and not-so-impressed annoyed family members who have a problem with evvvvvvverything i do!!! grrrrrr…. I have decided that I’m  done with friendship. Im seriously done with it. f*ck friendship. It just leads to disappointment. The people i have in my life right now are good enough for me. whatever their faults whatever their weaknesses whatever their f*ckups they still care enough to call once in a while and make me feel good. but even those people I keep some sort of distance from and guard my heart… from breaking into any more pieces.  hmmm i think i’m done venting now… but im still super stressed cuz i have to meet my cousin today…. she’s one of the best things in my life… but when she wants to talk… it means somethings up that’s not good…. and i hate confrontations…. i guess i know the outcomes and possibilities to what she probably wants to talk to me about so its not like im going into pitch darkness but still…. ugh…. why cant life be simple and boring again!!!! i guess i should be considerate to myself and be honest about the fact that i did have one good thing happen this week. It was my friend S’s bday… and so the eve of her bday we decided to go for a movie and we wanted to see a chick flick…Bride Wars with Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson and it was reallllllllllly reallllllllly good!!!

all the wedding stuff was breathtaking and romantic and adorably fun to watch….it was like really nice eyecandy but nothing to do with seeing a hot guy…. it was more like hot wedding dresses, and hot wedding shoes, and hot wedding themes, and hot wedding everything!! And it was funny too… My friend and I laughed our guts off and it was such a cute ending…. and the soundtrack was good too (already have it downloaded) it was even funnier because most of the people in the theatre werent laughing at all the cracks and jokes throughout the movie cuz they didnttttttt understandddddddddddddd…. like there was this scene where Kate Hudson’s hair turns blue and she’s really upset cuz her weddings a week away… and shes crying about it to her fiance and her fiance says ‘well you know honey it’s kinda growing on me, i love you in whatever way you look like and i feel like im with a really hot smurf!” and my friend and i burst out laughing…. and everyone else was like huh? what are they laughing at… dumbassses who’ve never seen the Smurfs cartoon show before… haha, i remember watching that in daycare before i even started kindergarten…

anyways all you chick flick lovers out there, gooooo seeee this movieeee!!!!! ok…. i gtg…. hopefully i come on here next to tell you a more happier nicer week in my life and tell you bout how good everything is… this light is turned off…

Currently listening to Dream (Bride Wars OST)
A Good Day
By Priscilla Ahn