When I was 3 my role model was …
My Dad. He had a lot of free time to spend with me because he was a college professor and he usually worked evenings and had whole summers off. He used to do my hair every morning, teach me interesting things about science and math, cut my barbie’s hair when I wanted to, everything a little girl could ever ask for. When I was in preschool, I used to see all the kids running to their moms screaming “Mooooooommmmyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!” when they came to pick them up. my dad was the only father who used to come to pick their kid up from preschool. Not knowing any better I used to run to him screaming “Mommmmmmmmmyyyyyy!!!!” too..
When I was 23 my role model was…
My mom. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and she was so strong for fighting against it. She went through all the chemo and radiation with strength bravery and optimism. She has been cancer free for the last 5 years.
Today at 27 my role model is…
My boyfriend. yeah I know it may sound corny and typical. But my boyfriend will hopefully be my fiance by the end of the year if things go as planned. He has taken the time not only to care for me but to bother what I think of myself and help me become a better person. He has taught me that it’s okay to think about myself first before thinking about others which I don’t do enough of. And he is the first person that has made me accustomed with the feeling of being alone. He said to me, I want you to learn to be happy on your own so you will never have to depend on anyone else for your happiness. I used to make myself ill feeling alone because I hated the feeling. I would get restless and depressed and it would make my skin crawl. To avoid that feeling and in my desperate attempt not to feel that way I would not treat myself right and hang out with all the wrong people. He’s my gojira… and yeah (another cliche coming your way…) I do love him… This light is turned off…
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Currently listening to Shattered
The Trucks
By The Trucks
I have been having a great 2-3 weeks spending every evening with my dad, spending all of my weekends with him and just being around him as much as I can. Growing up, especially when I hit highschool things really soured between me and my dad and it left a little void in my heart since then.
These past two years things are turning around and we are both focussing on getting to know one another better and having a healthy relationship with each other.
He’s also realized Ive grown up and Im doing the best I can at being a substantial and healthy and good citizen of this world and he’s also come to terms with the past so it’s really been good spending time with him these past couple of weeks.
My dad is really an amazing guy. I know it sounds silly, me being his daughter making such a statement (it’s as if Im complimenting myself)
but he really is. My dad’s pretty old actually which makes me more focussed about spending as much time as I can while’s he’s here. I know one day Im going to really really miss him when it’s his time to go and that’s why I want to make the best of my time while he’s here. living and breathing. I guess we grow up thinking we’ll all live in one happy family forever and ever but after a point, (For me it’s my 20′s) you come to terms with reality that we’re all going to pass on one day. This trip, my dad coming to visit me in India has been an emotional milestone for me because he’s really opened up and was able to tell me about pieces of his life and experiences I had never heard of before. These stories were so profound, it felt it was an honor to be told about these memories of his. Most of his stories went into his years when he first came to America, his college days at Columbia University, how things were back then, finding work after graduating, people that meant something to him, his relationship with his dad and mom, etc. I love listening, discussing, and reading about life experiences. I think that’s why I enjoy reading certain autobiographies and biographies with a passion.
I was in two minds about whether to go or not. I was going to this college friend M’s house for new year’s and I wasnt sure I wanted to be there because my ex-husband’s friends were possibly gonna be there and I didnt want to be the focal point of the gossip getting back to him.( I got married in 2006 to who I thought was the love of my life only to find out after 6 months that he wanted to divorce me because he didnt love me anymore and had fallen in love with a 16 yr old bimbo) My friend M has a tactful apparently unconcious way of bringing up people and subjects that touch a nerve, either making me feel uncomfortable or pissed off.
And I had a feeling I wouldnt enjoy myself at her party.
I have been tactfully avoiding her throughout the year, taking only sporadic phone calls of hers and conveniently being busy when she’s in town. But I knew it had to stop somewhere. So I faced her. I told her I was rethinking about coming because she brings up bad memories and people in my past that I dont want to remember and I dont want to bump into certain people at her party.
I ended up having a great time, for a party that was pretty much put together last minute, with a handful of people with no plans for new year’s, getting together to do nothing! lol..
and enjoyed chicken kathi rolls with a pasta mayo salad (which i made and brought over) 
I didnt eat anything the next day until dinner that’s how stuffed i was. But it’s a great place to go to enjoy some REALLY good food. The best barbecues were the potatoes which tasted like a crispy baked potato dunked and oozing with cheese, the fish was really good and so was the chicken. They had a number of different dipping sauces like mint green chutney, chilli sesame sauce, mango chilli dip. Trying out a different barbecue with a different sauce in every bite was like having a different meal in every bite. My personal favorite was the mango chilli sauce. I think im going to experiment and try to make that dip at home for a party I have next time. It was like a sweetish mango pulp softened and pureed into a smooth dip with some chilli pieces added into it, to give it that perfect combination of sweet and spicy. Here’s a picture from my night at Barbecue Nation to make your mouth water. (I took this pic myself)
Then you just deep fry them till their golden brown. So I made that and some cucumber/tomato raita to go along with the mutton curry. I was super nervous cuz since I had moved into my apartment (It’s been one year) I havent invited my family over to see how I set up the place. Everyone was laughing and having a good time talking about movies and golf and all sorts of discussions. It was really a good night . It was really a lot of fun. We all missed my mom a lot though because she would have loved this dinner. The next morning on Saturday my dad went to Bombay to meet some college friends and he came back on Sunday morning the day of his birthday. I got him a white cotton kurta really smart with white embroidery. He complained that he doesnt get the chance to wear kurtas in California but I know he doesnt have a white kurta and this will look very good on him whenever he does get the chance to wear it. We spent the whole day lazing around in the house on Sunday. I took a nice cat nap in the afternoon. 
