Warning: Spiritual Journey In Progress

Gojira called to  my attention that people may find it offensive or give me slack for the number of spiritual posts regarding the novenas I’ve put up recently. I just wanted to say that I am going through a spiritual journey right now. I am in the process of finding my spiritual soul and converting from Hindu to Catholic. You may like, dislike or not really care but I just wanted to make it clear that it’s not my intention to convert or save anyone but I’m merely sharing what I’m going through at the moment and maybe even figure out where I’m heading. Many of the novenas I recite require me to share them so I thought my blog was the best place for that.  i strongly believe that saving is something only you can do to yourself in whatever belief you see fit. whether it’s christianity, islam, buddhism, hinduism that’s up to you and God to decide. It is my hope that I can be a true believer of the Catholic faith because I think that’s what’s best for me and my plan ahead. Gojira is a Catholic and has in no way forced me to be anything I am not. After having lengthy discussions on this subject I decided I would become a Catholic. it is obvious that changing a religion is not something one can do overnight. It takes time a lot of thought and understanding to believe and follow. I am going through this process as we speak and I hope everyone will respect that. This light is turned off…

Spirituality is a necessary component for basic survival

This month though it’s not even over feels like a whirlwind in terms of the ups and downs I’ve been going through. I feel like i’ve been worn down to the bone with the stress of waiting and wondering whether gojira’s visa will get approved. I’ve been through so much these last 5 years and I just want him to get here so we can get married and start a happy life together. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with him but its hard dealing with all this with him so far away. I feel like I can deal with all the hardships and troubles that life will throw at me but its unbearable when I am here and he is there.  I think I’ve been suffering a lot more because im spiritually lost. I’ve been brought up as a Hindu but it has not given me what I need. I’ve waited for 27 years of finding a sign of faith of reassurance and I’m still waiting. I think though my parents have taught me a lot of good values and morals they have been too lax when it comes to religion. They pick it up and drift off whenever it suits them and I think in this manner I have lost out. Gojira and I have talked extensively about religion and have decided its best that I convert to Christianity which is his faith. Not only to keep his parents happy and so I can be by his side when he goes to church but the fact that our children should not feel confused and write it off as something frivolous and unimportant. I’ll admit initially I had it in mind to convert for namesake and not wholeheartedly embrace the Catholic faith because it was the only way his parents would accept me and I would be able to have a church ceremony. I didn’t think I would be interested in following it. I didn’t even second glance at it. Maybe it was the fact that I’ve been brought up with the stories of how they try to convert you and save you and all the things my parents have fed me. I’m not denying those things but I think I didn’t give it a real chance because I was only looking at it from one side… one perspective.. someone else’s opinion. I think it’s time I develop my own opinion based upon my experience with Catholicism. Right now being so broken down, I am so raw, so ready and so open for something that will pick up and help me face these rough days. I want to be a part of something grounding and powerful.

I have been following the recent story of the rescued Chile miners who have been trapped a 1/2 mile underneath the ground for 69 days. From the updates I’ve been getting from news sources like CNN they say its very rare for people to survive this long in such dire conditions. It’s being speculated that these miners had more chances of surviving because of the fact that Chile’s population is so strongly immersed in the Catholic faith. The fact that religion was such a big deal for them probably helped them cope with their situation as opposed to giving up hope and losing faith that they would be rescued soon.  It just goes to say we were always brought up with the idea that our basic survival depended on things such as shelter, air, water and food. But these are no longer the only things we can survive on. Spirituality plays a big part in our basic survival. we need religion to ground us. to give us faith. and the will to live no matter what struggles we face.

Gojira is slowly and steadily introducing me to the Catholic faith and I’m really enjoying it so far. I never thought I could enjoy a religion. but I am. I’ll admit sometimes it’s difficult to understand but asking him questions and reading up the history is helping me to begin grasping the concept of Catholicism. He made me a pdf of Novenas which are supposed to read when praying. I printed those out at the beginning of this week so i can recite them everyday. I began praying in the evenings by saying Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be but since today I started reciting them in the morning as well. Since it’s a Wednesday I’ll begin saying the rest of the prayers outlined.  As a part of the prayers I’ve learned it’s also important to share them as per the explanations so I’ve decided I’ll be posting some of the Novenas on here as and when I do them. Maybe this will help someone else out there like me.  The Novena prayers I am doing are devoted to the Our Lady of Perpetual Help. I find this so intriguing because when I took a class for Art History 101 at UB way back in 2006 I learned about the famous painting derived from the Byzantine Empire. This is my favorite depiction of that painting. There was a similar picture of this painting on the pdf that Gojira made for me.

It’s breathtaking. Art in its purest form.  I’m thinking of introducing a spiritual category to my blog so I can share more of my experience of being introduced to the Catholic faith.

almost there…

Gosh I can’t believe January’s almost over.. This past week, days have been creeping by instead of rushing past like they usually are… I think because I realize March is like ALMOST here..Because I’m aware it’s so close the days are not going by as fast as they usually do… Time.  It’s such a bitter sweet thing because there’s so much I need to finish before March arrives and yet I want it to come soon…

My boyfriend and I have been doing it long distance since April 19th 2009 and he will be coming to visit me for a month in March.. I wish he could come and then I could freeze time for like a couple months or so.. we haven’t met each other in 2 years. He’s coming to visit India just to spend time with me and I’ve taken off work so I can spend as much time as possible with him and basically catch up.. We both wanna make sure we’re making the right decision.. I mean 2 years so much can happen so many things can change.. but my gut tells me that everything’s gonna be fine… We talk to each other online almost the whole day and we call each other on the phone whenever we can.. it’s pretty exciting that he’s finally gonna be here.. we’re planning to go to Goa together while he’s here too.. That’s where the best place to chillax in India is.. Yummy seafood, great beaches to get tan on… M so excited… I get to finally wear my new bikini I bought last year when I visited my parents in California. My bikini is like a halter top like this one and has boyshorts below and its brown and turquoise… really cute and colorful!!

(The idea of owning a bikini, that too a California bikini always appealed to me… I haven’t really ventured towards a bikini since I was 7 or 8 . I stopped wearing them when I was that age after my nipple was exposed a little because I hadn’t tied the top on properly and my best friend at the time instead of quietly telling me shouted it out for everyone to look at before i could cover myself up in time. I was so traumatized even though i still had a chest as flat as any boy’s at the time that I never touched a bikini up till now.. lol.. ) Anyways back on topic.. gonna be relaxing on one of the many goa beaches there.. Goa is basically known as the Hawaii of the east..

a lot of European travellers come and visit for a cheap and chirpy beach vacation.. It’s a touristy yet very laid back bohemian kind of atmosphere. lots of beach shacks… lots of night parties,raves, good food, local alcohol made out of coconut (feni) also spelled as “fenny” and cashews (also a different type of feni) did i mention good seafood?…

I’m gonna be meeting his parents for the first time when we go spend time in Goa. More than anything I just want to confirm that we both are on the same page.. I know we are but confirmation makes it feel more secure and complete.. If things are as we think they are I guess this Christmas 2010 his parents are going to celebrate in Goa and yes that means my gojira will come and visit India then as well and all of us will be there together.. I’ve never celebrated a real Christmas before… His family is Catholic so it will be interesting to be there and participate in all the fun celebrating.. He showed me pics of how they celebrated this past 2009 and it looked pretty special… Goans are known for their seafood culinary skills.. I am going to make sure to ask his mom how she makes crab curry. It’s one of my absolute fave Goan dishes to eat.. It looks something like this…

Till then my apartment painting will keep me on my toes… it’s gonna start on the 26th. I’ve already cleared out 2 rooms so the painters can get it done soon… Ive cleared out the dining room area, the master bedroom and attached bathroom… I hope it doesn’t take forever to finish. I DON’T WANT THIS DONE ON INDIAN STANDARD TIME!!!!???!!! ….. We Indians have this saying that there’s the rest of the world and then there’s Indian standard time because most Indians are allllllllways late for everrrrrrrrything… It’s like genetic or something.. lol… If you hold a dinner party and tell everyone to come by 8pm they’ll start coming in by 9 and everyone will finally be there by 10pm.. its not a big deal when you talk about partying but when you want things to get finished it becomes very frustraating…  When those rooms are complete I’ll be clearing out the guest bedroom and attached bathroom and the living room… Right now practically all of my life is stuffed in the living room… it looks pretty funny actually..

And yes I moved everything including tv, piano, tables, sofas, beds ALL by my little self!! My back could do with a pain killer but I’m surviving to say the least ;P I’ve also taken on another freelancing project with a colleague that I used to work for in the UK. He has offered me article writing work which actually doesn’t pay amazing but otherwise I’m just sitting here twiddling my thumbs so I decided to take it so I can be super busy till March comes.. plus extra moola is always a good thing… hehehe.. Just thinking about all my plans has gotten me all hyper and excited all over again..can’t waitt….. i have a feeling 2010 is gonna be a brand new start.. yeah sounds cliched.. but for the people who don’t know me and the way my life’s been the past 4 years nothing this amazing has worked out for me… so keep your fingers crossed everyones…. This light is turned off…

Currently listening to

Wavering Radiant
By Isis