This month though it’s not even over feels like a whirlwind in terms of the ups and downs I’ve been going through. I feel like i’ve been worn down to the bone with the stress of waiting and wondering whether gojira’s visa will get approved. I’ve been through so much these last 5 years and I just want him to get here so we can get married and start a happy life together. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with him but its hard dealing with all this with him so far away. I feel like I can deal with all the hardships and troubles that life will throw at me but its unbearable when I am here and he is there. I think I’ve been suffering a lot more because im spiritually lost. I’ve been brought up as a Hindu but it has not given me what I need. I’ve waited for 27 years of finding a sign of faith of reassurance and I’m still waiting. I think though my parents have taught me a lot of good values and morals they have been too lax when it comes to religion. They pick it up and drift off whenever it suits them and I think in this manner I have lost out. Gojira and I have talked extensively about religion and have decided its best that I convert to Christianity which is his faith. Not only to keep his parents happy and so I can be by his side when he goes to church but the fact that our children should not feel confused and write it off as something frivolous and unimportant. I’ll admit initially I had it in mind to convert for namesake and not wholeheartedly embrace the Catholic faith because it was the only way his parents would accept me and I would be able to have a church ceremony. I didn’t think I would be interested in following it. I didn’t even second glance at it. Maybe it was the fact that I’ve been brought up with the stories of how they try to convert you and save you and all the things my parents have fed me. I’m not denying those things but I think I didn’t give it a real chance because I was only looking at it from one side… one perspective.. someone else’s opinion. I think it’s time I develop my own opinion based upon my experience with Catholicism. Right now being so broken down, I am so raw, so ready and so open for something that will pick up and help me face these rough days. I want to be a part of something grounding and powerful.
I have been following the recent story of the rescued Chile miners who have been trapped a 1/2 mile underneath the ground for 69 days. From the updates I’ve been getting from news sources like CNN they say its very rare for people to survive this long in such dire conditions. It’s being speculated that these miners had more chances of surviving because of the fact that Chile’s population is so strongly immersed in the Catholic faith. The fact that religion was such a big deal for them probably helped them cope with their situation as opposed to giving up hope and losing faith that they would be rescued soon. It just goes to say we were always brought up with the idea that our basic survival depended on things such as shelter, air, water and food. But these are no longer the only things we can survive on. Spirituality plays a big part in our basic survival. we need religion to ground us. to give us faith. and the will to live no matter what struggles we face.
Gojira is slowly and steadily introducing me to the Catholic faith and I’m really enjoying it so far. I never thought I could enjoy a religion. but I am. I’ll admit sometimes it’s difficult to understand but asking him questions and reading up the history is helping me to begin grasping the concept of Catholicism. He made me a pdf of Novenas which are supposed to read when praying. I printed those out at the beginning of this week so i can recite them everyday. I began praying in the evenings by saying Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be but since today I started reciting them in the morning as well. Since it’s a Wednesday I’ll begin saying the rest of the prayers outlined. As a part of the prayers I’ve learned it’s also important to share them as per the explanations so I’ve decided I’ll be posting some of the Novenas on here as and when I do them. Maybe this will help someone else out there like me. The Novena prayers I am doing are devoted to the Our Lady of Perpetual Help. I find this so intriguing because when I took a class for Art History 101 at UB way back in 2006 I learned about the famous painting derived from the Byzantine Empire. This is my favorite depiction of that painting. There was a similar picture of this painting on the pdf that Gojira made for me.
It’s breathtaking. Art in its purest form. I’m thinking of introducing a spiritual category to my blog so I can share more of my experience of being introduced to the Catholic faith.
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Posted in Epiphanies
Tagged art, basic survival, broken, catholic, catholicism, Chile miners, Chilean Miners, Christianity, church, convert, faith, glory be, gojira, grounding, hail mary, hope, miners, novena, our father, our lady of perpetual help, powerful, religion, spiritually lost, suffering, survive
