like an alarm clock

I’m so glad it was all a hoax!!

I think millions of womens heart thudded to a stop momentarily yesterday when a nasty rumour had gone around saying that Johnny Depp was fighting for his life and possibly dead after a car crash off the coast of France. I though no. It couldn’ttttttttttttttt be and yet I was so terrified thinking that yet another life cut short… (in the wake of Brittany Murphy’s passing) People think that film stars theyre just heart throbs and good looks. but  not all of them are so vain.. Johnny is not only graced with killer looks but amazing acting talent. My gojira also said to me once. “If i turn gay, it will be to have sex with Johnny Depp.”

So after surfing through the Internet and reading up I was relieved to find out that it was just a stupid hoax and he is alive and well. I took over a year to digest the fact that Heath Ledger was gone. I don’t know why that had to happen he was one of my favorites. He was destined for great things… But I’m not going to delve on the sadness I’m going to be grateful that Johnny is alive and well… This is a post to celebrate his life and the wonderful things we still have yet to see from him… I’m looking forward to all of his movie projects… Alice in Wonderland, Sin City 3, Shantaram, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 and The Rum Diary…  can’t wait… so enjoy and bask in his glory y’all… he still has many more years ahead of him.. cheers to you Johnny… to health, wealth and a long happy life.. Are you a fan of Johnny? What are your favorite roles? 46 of my favorite pics of Johnny for the 46 glorious years that he’s been alive… This light is turned off…

time, effort, $,

When you take the time, effort, and $ to make someone’s birthday feel really special, do you feel bad when they don’t do the same for you on your birthday?

almost there…

Gosh I can’t believe January’s almost over.. This past week, days have been creeping by instead of rushing past like they usually are… I think because I realize March is like ALMOST here..Because I’m aware it’s so close the days are not going by as fast as they usually do… Time.  It’s such a bitter sweet thing because there’s so much I need to finish before March arrives and yet I want it to come soon…

My boyfriend and I have been doing it long distance since April 19th 2009 and he will be coming to visit me for a month in March.. I wish he could come and then I could freeze time for like a couple months or so.. we haven’t met each other in 2 years. He’s coming to visit India just to spend time with me and I’ve taken off work so I can spend as much time as possible with him and basically catch up.. We both wanna make sure we’re making the right decision.. I mean 2 years so much can happen so many things can change.. but my gut tells me that everything’s gonna be fine… We talk to each other online almost the whole day and we call each other on the phone whenever we can.. it’s pretty exciting that he’s finally gonna be here.. we’re planning to go to Goa together while he’s here too.. That’s where the best place to chillax in India is.. Yummy seafood, great beaches to get tan on… M so excited… I get to finally wear my new bikini I bought last year when I visited my parents in California. My bikini is like a halter top like this one and has boyshorts below and its brown and turquoise… really cute and colorful!!

(The idea of owning a bikini, that too a California bikini always appealed to me… I haven’t really ventured towards a bikini since I was 7 or 8 . I stopped wearing them when I was that age after my nipple was exposed a little because I hadn’t tied the top on properly and my best friend at the time instead of quietly telling me shouted it out for everyone to look at before i could cover myself up in time. I was so traumatized even though i still had a chest as flat as any boy’s at the time that I never touched a bikini up till now.. lol.. ) Anyways back on topic.. gonna be relaxing on one of the many goa beaches there.. Goa is basically known as the Hawaii of the east..

a lot of European travellers come and visit for a cheap and chirpy beach vacation.. It’s a touristy yet very laid back bohemian kind of atmosphere. lots of beach shacks… lots of night parties,raves, good food, local alcohol made out of coconut (feni) also spelled as “fenny” and cashews (also a different type of feni) did i mention good seafood?…

I’m gonna be meeting his parents for the first time when we go spend time in Goa. More than anything I just want to confirm that we both are on the same page.. I know we are but confirmation makes it feel more secure and complete.. If things are as we think they are I guess this Christmas 2010 his parents are going to celebrate in Goa and yes that means my gojira will come and visit India then as well and all of us will be there together.. I’ve never celebrated a real Christmas before… His family is Catholic so it will be interesting to be there and participate in all the fun celebrating.. He showed me pics of how they celebrated this past 2009 and it looked pretty special… Goans are known for their seafood culinary skills.. I am going to make sure to ask his mom how she makes crab curry. It’s one of my absolute fave Goan dishes to eat.. It looks something like this…

Till then my apartment painting will keep me on my toes… it’s gonna start on the 26th. I’ve already cleared out 2 rooms so the painters can get it done soon… Ive cleared out the dining room area, the master bedroom and attached bathroom… I hope it doesn’t take forever to finish. I DON’T WANT THIS DONE ON INDIAN STANDARD TIME!!!!???!!! ….. We Indians have this saying that there’s the rest of the world and then there’s Indian standard time because most Indians are allllllllways late for everrrrrrrrything… It’s like genetic or something.. lol… If you hold a dinner party and tell everyone to come by 8pm they’ll start coming in by 9 and everyone will finally be there by 10pm.. its not a big deal when you talk about partying but when you want things to get finished it becomes very frustraating…  When those rooms are complete I’ll be clearing out the guest bedroom and attached bathroom and the living room… Right now practically all of my life is stuffed in the living room… it looks pretty funny actually..

And yes I moved everything including tv, piano, tables, sofas, beds ALL by my little self!! My back could do with a pain killer but I’m surviving to say the least ;P I’ve also taken on another freelancing project with a colleague that I used to work for in the UK. He has offered me article writing work which actually doesn’t pay amazing but otherwise I’m just sitting here twiddling my thumbs so I decided to take it so I can be super busy till March comes.. plus extra moola is always a good thing… hehehe.. Just thinking about all my plans has gotten me all hyper and excited all over again..can’t waitt….. i have a feeling 2010 is gonna be a brand new start.. yeah sounds cliched.. but for the people who don’t know me and the way my life’s been the past 4 years nothing this amazing has worked out for me… so keep your fingers crossed everyones…. This light is turned off…

Currently listening to

Wavering Radiant
By Isis

old inspiration…

This is an inspirational essay written by Mary Schmich in 1997 which was published in the Chicago Tribune. This essay has been most famously used for giving advice to high school seniors who are ready to go out and make it in this big bad world. Many of you may have seen/heard this essay. It was remixed into a song by Baz Luhrmann in 1998 called “Wear Sunscreen.” I think even though most of us have already past the threshold of graduating high school we can still take something from this essay and apply it to our lives in some small way. Below is the orginal essay Mary Schmich published in her column back in 1997..

“Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who’d rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there’s no reason we can’t entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…”

Some people may see a lot of cliches and be bored of this by now but I still love the inspiration I get from this essay. This light is turned off…

Currently reading
The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
By Douglas Adams

ctrl-alt-grrrr….

you know what makes me really mad. when someone who doesn’t know something get snubbed by other people with answers like “you don’t know that already?” or “what planet do you live on?” Isn’t the idea of being on xanga, blogging, communicating, writing commenting, etc to share our thoughts, feelings, learn more and evolve? Sure people can have different opinions and think different from one another, but an opinion can be put across respectfully without making someone else feel any less or degraded. This happened to me today and yes I was the unlearned inexperienced one who got snubbed. Maybe some people will think I’m being a whiner but it really makes me feel bad when people actually take effort/joy in making people feel like shit. I actually was planning on putting the whole record of comments that took place with this post without disclosing who it was because I don’t believe in being bitchy just because someone acted that way to me. I wanted everyone to see how people actually go out of their way to be mean. But this person deleted the comments and everything that took place before I had a chance to do so. Even in the comments I see on lovelyish, mancouch and featured blog posts people are so bitter and condescending it makes me sick. I wish people were a little less negative and more considerate of other people’s feelings. Is that so difficult for people these days?

Currently listening to
Let Love In
By The Goo Goo Dolls

Do You Wash Your Mushrooms Before Eating Them?

I’ve heard a lot of people tell me that you aren’t supposed to wash mushrooms under water because they soak up all the water and it alters the taste. I’ve always been told that you’re supposed to  clean mushrooms by just brushing off the clinging dirt particles. But I just can’t get myself past the idea of eating an unwashed vegetable. Mushrooms grow in the soil and with farmers putting in fertilizer to promote their growth I can’t help but think they just HAVE to be rinsed before eating. I don’t care if it alters the taste a little bit I just need my vegetables clean before cooking them!

Apparently a book called The Curious Cook: More Kitchen Science & Lore by Harold McGee has an experiment which he did with washing mushrooms. He soaked 252 grams of mushrooms for about 5 minutes to see how much moisture they would absorb. Once he weighed them after removing them from the water he found that they had soaked up just a mere 6 grams of water. I don’t see why chefs would make such a big deal about rinsing mushrooms under water if it just makes that much of a difference. And that moisture increase was noted  after SOAKING them for 5 minutes. When I say rinse it means pouring water onto the mushrooms for a minute so the dirt particles can be washed away.

Do you wash your mushrooms before eating or cooking them? This light is turned off… 

update: this post got featured on i really like food… yay!!!!

Currently listening to Sunshine
Just Push Play
By Aerosmith

I’ve got a crush… a crush on HER!?! =O

Hmmmm…. so like ummmmm….. yeah! hahah… I find it so funny that I have a crush because for me, crushes were like phases in high school… day dreaming about Devon Sawa or that cute popular smoldering boy in class that you would never ever have the guts to go up and talk to..

But now I’m 27 and I’ve been over the fairyland phase of having crushes for years now… Crushes to me are really a superficial phase where u confuse love with infatuation and think its your whole world and then you get over it. I reserve the word crushes for people who I’m superficially attracted to… if its a person who’s really special that I have feelings for I would never call it a crush. That would be too demeaning I feel. I never thought this crush phase would revisit me again and that too to be a woman… In college I did a drop (yes a drop!) of experimentation where I felt I was a bisexual. I kissed a girl at a party. There were two best friends and they wanted to know what it was like to kiss a girl and since they trusted each other they decided to do it with each other. I also joined in. (One girl was a terrible kisser, I felt like she was all saliva and it was just so gross… the other was a REALLY good kisser… she had the softest lips I’d ever kissed and she had a warm mouth and she really knew how to kiss with ferociousness and passion… ) Most people would disagree and say that just french kissing a girl or two at a party would not make me bi. But I really think I am because I can drool over Jessica Alba just like any other man. But I don’t think I would ever have the opportunity or feel the need to confirm what my sexual preference is. First of all living in India has its limitations. There are lesbians and bisexuals living in India but they’re rare and hard to find. Maybe if I was in California with my family I’d have the guts to find out IF I was single.

Anyways back to the subject, I started watching The L Word a couple months back. I was trying to find a replacement for Weeds because I enjoyed that show so much and I wanted to watch something else that might be good. I knew it was a show about Lesbians and I wanted to see what it was all about. After watching the first two seasons of The L Word I enjoyed the characters but I hated the constant unfaithfulness and the cheating and the affairs. I just really didn’t get a good vibe watching the show anymore.

But did I stop? No. Because I was curious to see what happened in the next season. Just for the record I strongly dislike Jenny… she switches her role from innocent victim to raving psycho whenever it suits her.. she scares me honestly. Dana, Alice, Tasha, and Helena were the characters I really liked. (I liked Bette too in the beginning but she dropped as one of my faves maybe it was the affair and the cheating and her power hungry controlling attitude.) My main squeeze was ironically the most flighty promiscuous character in the whole show. Yeah, that would be Shane McCutcheon. I don’t know why. I think it was something about her androgynous look and her awesome hair and her attitude towards her friends and her willingness to try and be faithful. So yeah she’s my ultimate crush right now… I know as time goes on this will fade… but I just wanted to record it so I look back on this entry maybe years from now, like I look back on all the rest of my crushes and smile =) Below is a collection of pictures of Katherine Moennig, the actress who played the role of Shane McCutcheon on The L Word. What were your crushes when you were in school? Do you have any crushes now? This light is turned off…

Currently watching
The L Word: Final Season

hearing damage…

I can’t get enough of this song Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke. I can’t understand why it does something to me. I feel so moved and so taken up by this song. It rips out every emotion that I take so much time to bury within me and pulls it all out of me.. I feel so vulnerable about my emotions because I’m so sensitive and people have had the opportunity to take advantage of that in the past…so I take so much effort to hide it. Sometimes its the emotional baggage that I’ve taken years to bury… sometimes its just the daily strain I feel weighing down on me.. but it just takes it all out whatever it is that’s pent up within me..like some sort of detoxification. Depending on the mood I am in it chokes me up when I feel raw and I’m not ready to feel so exposed. Other times I just submit to the overpowering emotion and it evokes tears from the relief of feeling the stress being stripped away from me as I get into the song.. It makes me feel lighter as I am turned inside out.

There’s a lot of music that I listen to but I feel like this is on another plane. Obviously not even close to Tool. I don’t think nothing will ever come close to Tool. It’s one of those gifts that people don’t know that exists in the world. They think its just music. Another band, another record.  It’s right there in front of them but you have to be open to let it embrace you or you will just pass it by without even knowing how life changing it could have been for you. Tool is so immense that that I am sometimes intimidated to even listen to it. I have to prepare my body and mind to be able to listen to it and take it in. Like meditation. I have not even nicked the glacier when it comes to Tool but I still feel like I am such a different person because of it. I can’t even imagine how much more there is to know and the experience of embracing all of it completely. I am grateful to Gojira for introducing me to Tool. I wonder what kind of life I’d be living if I never came across it. If nothing ever happens to us I’ll be thankful that he at least was able to open my eyes and ears and give me the gift of Tool.

Note: Just now as I was looking on Amazon to see if Thom Yorke had his own album with Hearing Damage on it, I read that he is the lead singer of Radiohead. It’s so fucking mind blowing how this is all connected. Radiohead is another one of my favorites that I’ve recently gotten into after it was suggested to me by a number of people (including gojira). I put Radiohead at par with Porcupine Tree. They both have emotion evoking songs… Insane Insane Insane….

Have you ever listened to music that has been life altering for you? This light is turned off…

Currently listening to Hearing Damage- Thom Yorke
New Moon Soundtrack: Deluxe Edition (CD & DVD)

yay…

So Dollarish finally fixed the glitch and featured my post properly about approximately 3 hours ago. I’m grateful to them because they did so. But I think because of the glitch yesterday the 70 comments that were visible or that were showing got erased or something sigh…

This is the second time ever I’ve been featured so I’m pretty happy bout it. But I think for most its a boring post subject and it’s not really something they can relate to so I’m frankly not expecting much feedback for this featured blog post..

have you ever submitted any posts to be featured? Were they accepted? Please provide links, I’d like to check them out! This light is turned off…

Currently  listening to
The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion
By Dredg