People say smoking is a choice. But if you’re addicted to something, doesn’t that rule out choice?

It depends on what kind of smoker you are. If you are the kind that has that smoked and wants to quit then ur not smoking out of choice it’s because it’s so addicting that you’re smoking. Im a smoker on occasion as well. Though I dont smoke regularly every single day or packets a day I do light up when a stressful situation calls for one and that too I try sharing it with someone who smokes to cut down the amount im smoking. I can go days without smoking yet I cant seem to cut it completely from my life no matter how much Ive tried. thats the part that makes me feel frustrated, like we have no choice and weve become addicted to something we want to quit but can’t. If I knew how addicting this was to not be able to cut it out of my life completely, I never would have started smoking.This light is turned off.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Currently Listening to Able to Love
Best of Benny Benassi

I have a mission.

I have a mission. Its surged into me suddenly and I am going to work hard and start a scrapbook file or something of everything planned for my wedding even though its no where near close. Im not even engaged! but I still want it a perfect day and moment whenever it happens. If i plan and carefully layout/design everything starting now I’ll know exactly how I want it and yes that will give me a piece of mind. I will start with a preview… heres the picture I was thinking of using someday for my wedding…Its supposed to be a play on words. as in “A Fine Pair/Pear” get it? Yah kind of childish but I just loved the black and white simplicity and elegance of the whole design… while I was looking for this invitation which has been in the back of my head for a couple years now. (psycho I know, but true…) I also couldnt help looking at what other appealing designs and ideas were out there.

Here are some others I was attracted to…. Look below.

The black and white below actually inspired me into thinking that instead of just random curly designs in the background the name of the bride and groom could be made into that same abstract sort of style in the background to give it a more personal touch…. I really feel like trying some stuff out to see if I can make something to my liking…. man I need to get adobe photoshop NOW!!! (my comp lacks it unfortunately….*sigh*)

The pic below of the invitation also inspired me into thinking of some personal creative ways of making an invitation…picture patterns/pieces of wild dried flowers kept within the folds of fibre natural raw textured paper, exotic print paintings using natural textures… getting some soft yet firm wood extremely thin to be used as the invitation itself. I had B my old friend from school tell me just recently she wants me to help out with her wedding since she just got engaged and me thinks this will be a neat idea to suggest… what say? or a combination of this and pear could be sexy too…ill save it for mine…. *evil naughty laugh*

This light is turned off.

Currently Listening to Hades
Swamplord
By Kalmah

monsoon photos

These are some photos I took last weekend. I guess the monsoon weather really made me feel like taking some pictures. Kinda blurry, yet natural and hopefully capturing the essence of what I saw at that moment…

You wont see exotic varieties of flowers like this one just anywhere in the world… It was such a unique orangy fuschia like color and it reminded me of a powder puff or something. lol.. It was really delicate and had little tiny bits of yellow pollen on each wispy petal which was as thin as a piece of hair.I was trying to get up close so you could see the yellow pollen on each petal but it was very difficult working with a cellphone camera. (oh well, better than no camera!!) IThis flower’s petals reminded me almost of tentacles or something…

Some more angles and closeups trying to catch the beauty…

My little powderpuff flower floating in a saucer of water…

The first glimpse of monsoon. Finally here after the sweltering hot weeks we struggled through!

These pics were taken from my cab window which was taking me home after work… I love the monsoon, specially the first rain!

 

Currently Listening to Chhor Gaye
Atif aslam-meri kahani
By Atif aslam

If you could choose your family members, who would you choose as your parents?

I would not change my parents for anything in the world. They adopted me and have provided my sister and me with everything I need to figure out why I am here on this earth and what I am destined to do. My parents (wish I could proudly boast their beautiful names in here!) have done the best job possible within their means to provide me with a great home over my head, throughout my years of growing up, sound advice, love and “familyship” so to say, a priceless education (or edjyuh-muhkation as i like to say! lol) which I hope I can live up to when I have kids someday. I have to go to work soon so I can’t delve into the details… maybe I’ll continue after I get back from work! Chao people. This light is turned off.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

If you could only be remembered with one word, what word would it be?

I am an avid Tool fan. They have made my soul evolve beyond anything I could have ever imagined and the craziest thing is that they have touched me in such a manner without me really discovering much. So I dont know how entranced I will be when I discover even more…. by the way as a sidenote Id like to give thanks out to a friend who introduced me to them. You know who you are. Ok, back on to the subject!!! yeah, so choosing one word is so difficult… how can one word describe EVERYTHING about you??? is it really possible…So then I thought the name of one of Tool’s amazing songs which I am currently exploring is Lateralus and I wanted to see what kind of definitions were out there floating on the web… and then i found a really good definition AND review of what Tool’s music is about on Urban Dictionary. I was surprised at the source of the definition since they usually have good comical stuff to sift through when you’re bored but I had never come across anything deep or meaningful on that website. But after reading the definition of Lateralus on Urban Dictionary, I said to myself, “Yes thats what defines me.” Check it out at this <LINK>

The passages Ive kept below are the ones that were my favorite from Urban Dictionary, explaining the album Lateralus.
LATERALUS DEFINED FROM URBAN DICTIONARY:
“Tool has gone a few steps higher with this album. It is meant to be heard all at once, almost like an opera. It is slow. Not slow in its  speed, but slow in the way it gets from point A to point B. While a good riff in any other song gets heard a few times before the song is over, a Tool riff is explored like it could be the cure for cancer. The riff plays on, only slightly changing, to a point of hypnosis, before the song continues. The members of Tool are not afraid to do this. They aren’t worried if the song exceeds ten minutes in length. They don’t care that this kills their chance of getting on the radio. Tool is simply interested in making beautiful music. Beautiful music may be an odd word to use on an album that is so heavy and full of anguish. But it is beautiful the way fire is beautiful. It is destructive yet captivating. As usual, Maynard James Keenan’s vocals are heavenly, and his lyrics are deep and poetic. The guitar, base and drums are rock solid, and play together like an orchestra. And the synthesizers top it
off, making it eerie and full.”

“Some song lyrics on this album can be interpreted as references to alchemy, especially due to the fact that the Philosopher’s stone often serves as a spiritual metaphor to evolve from a lower state of imperfection and vice (symbolized by the base metals) to a higher state of enlightenment and perfection.

But I guess if I wasnt allowed to choose the word Lateralus since technically its a song name, my alternative choice would have to be the word “fickle.” Most definitions in dictionaries consider it a negative term. But I consider it positive in some ways. Which is what I liked about the word to feel it defines me. (you’ll have to go and check out the definition to know what I mean!) The fact of constant change is important I think in one’s life and journey towards understanding what we are here on this earth to do. Yet changing all the time is not such a good thing. So I like that I change constantly but it can be my weakness as well. Most of dictionaries describing the word made me feel like they were describing me at times. I swear. Not the exaggerated points like deceitful and evil minded of course but below here’s a look at a definition I found most similar to describing me.. especially the “cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next” But I guess questions like this help you ponder over what is and let you evolve into what it should be.

fickle
adjective
1.	marked by erratic changeableness in affections or attachments; “fickle friends”; “a flirt’s volatile affections”
2.	liable to sudden unpredictable change; “erratic behavior”; “fickle weather”; “mercurial twists of temperament”; “a quicksilver character, cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next” [syn: erratic]

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Currently Listening to Love In This Club Usher ft Young Jeezy
Love In This Club

clemency

Ok, well I got home from work today and suddenly I see a flash of msn news telling me Susan Atkins might be getting clemency from life imprisonment. I had no idea who she was or what she had done but the thought of someone seeking clemency made me wonder what her sins were and is it someone i would feel pity for. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about since the article seemed to be making a big deal about the fact she might be getting out of jail. so i wikipediad Susan Atkins as i always do when i want to learn some facts about something i dont know…. It turns out she’s the cold blooded murderer of the famous actress Sharon Tate. Now I’ll be frank and honest. Never heard of Sharon Tate or that she was a famous hollywood actress, but nobody has the right to cut short someone else’s life. I find it disturbing. I found it ironic that just a couple minutes ago I didnt know who either one was and now suddenly my emotions turned over to anger for what Susan Atkins did to Sharon Tate. Some people murder for revenge. Others murder for money. I dont get those excuses of revenge or money either but atleast they had some motive to move them to do such a stupid thing. And I would like to believe that in both of those cases that people dont intentionally murder one another but it happens in a fit of emotion or a sudden play of events to control life and reality. But Susan Atkins enjoyed killing this stunningly beautiful actress, cut her life short, and her baby’s (she was eight and a half months pregnant and was to have her first child in a matter of two weeks.) She mercilessly robbed her life and was witnessed laughing and enjoying stabbing her to death. Does Susan deserve clemency? What is the point of her punishment if the government only pardons her and lets her be with her loved ones outside of jail just because she has 6 months to live? Did Susan Atkins think about the fact that Sharon is not even living today because of her actions? What is the purpose of “justice in court” for victims if they only pardon criminals who deserve to be in jail. I am not a heartless person believe me when I say that. My friends would vouch for me I think if they could speak on behalf of me. I can understand giving a small time criminal a chance or two, even three to shapen up and be a responsible citizen in society outside of jail. But a cold blooded murder? Uh, NO. She should suffer and be kept in jail till the day she breathes her last breath for what she did to that poor actress. And no I dont believe in killing Susan Atkins with the death penalty because then we would be just as bad as her. What example then are we teaching our younger generations to follow? Life imprisonment is what she should be punished, so I hope the goverment lives up to their end and denies her clemency. I hope they give Sharon Tate the justice she deserves and dont pardon Susan Atkins or any other murderers like her. Wow, this was harder to write about then I had expected… really disturbs and freaks out the mind over what people have in their capacity to do…. this light is turned off…

Currently Listening to Sentimental
Fear of a Blank Planet
By Porcupine Tree